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How to Stop Self-Sabotage

What I’ve learned through the years of my own personal work and helping other people with weight loss is- if you have trouble losing weight, its because there is a part of you that is actually benefiting from the extra weight. Some people believe they will feel deprived if they lose the weight, or that their friends will treat them differently or resent them if they look thinner or better then them. Or some people even have a fear that something bad will happen if they lose the weight.

If you resonate with any of these limiting beliefs, you can see why you’ve had trouble losing weight in the past….. these are really good reasons to keep on extra pounds.

These reasons are always unconscious which means we don’t have any control over them and unless you clear these unconscious blocks something will always stop you from losing weight, no matter how committed you are. Because your unconscious minds number 1 job is to always protect you and keep you safe.

In this video about overcoming self sabotage, I’m going to focus on three painful ways you sabotage your health, happiness and well being and then Ill show you an absolutely free exercise that will help you clear these blocks so you can have a breakthrough in your own life.

Grab a pen and a piece of paper and write down your answer to this question-

What does this extra weight DO for you? —-

It hides me from unwanted attention
it gives me an excuse for not applying to the job I want
or, no one can reject me if I reject myself…

Take a moment to come up with your own answer to this question and then ask yourself how true that statement is on a scale from 0-10. 0 would be I don’t believe it at all, and 10 would be – I believe this with every ounce of my being.


Close your eyes, and imagine looking at yourself at your ideal weight.

Notice what each part of your body looks like, notice how you carry yourself, notice the expression on your face. How do you feel about your body and your health? What kind of clothes you are wearing, maybe you’ve recently upgraded your wardrobe. How is life different now that you’ve achieved your goal? What are you doing now that’s different from your current situation? Maybe you’re becoming successful in other areas of your life too.

Some people will notice that they’ve changed their job, or maybe they have new friends, or they might be in a different relationship.. when you visualize a big change like this it can seem really overwhelming.

Notice any anxiety that you feel about this visualization.

As you look at yourself and your life at your ideal weight, Imagine stepping into yourself at this ideal weight. Imagine there is a mirror in front of you… Take a look at yourself in this body and life you’ve created and imagine your family members, your significant other, and all your closest friends standing around you in a circle… What happens? Who is upset? Who is supportive? Notice the people that are upset… Why are they upset? Are they jealous? Will it change your relationship in some way ?

These reactions and changes might not actually be true, and on one hand, they might even seem a bit silly…. But this is the story your unconscious mind has created about achieving your weight loss goals. So, you’ve actually been holding onto this extra weight, to protect yourself from these big scary changes you unconsciously believe will happen.

Notice how strong your anxiety is on a scale from 0-10. 0 would be no emotions and 10 would be freaking out!

As you tap on the karate chop, take a big deep breath and tune into the constellation of emotions, thoughts and beliefs that are sabotaging your success.

Even though I have really good reasons to keep this weight, I love and accept myself
Even though part of me doesn’t want to let it go… I accept myself completely
Even though its kept me safe for so long, I accept myself and all my imperfections

Tapping through the points:

I have really good reasons to keep this weight
Part of me doesn’t want to let it go
I’m not sure what will happen if I lose this weight. Someone might get mad, life will change, something bad might happen.
there are so many unknowns,
It’s not safe to lose this weight.
But another part of me wants to be lean and healthy,
its a constant battle
But I still love and accept all of me; I’m finding new ways to keep myself safe.
Take a nice deep breath—

Tune back into the constellation of emotions, thoughts, and beliefs that have been sabotaging your success and notice your level of anxiety on a scale from 0-10, once you have your number, continue tapping through the points

I’ve got good reasons to keep this weight
I really don’t want to let it go
I’m afraid of what will happen
I don’t know what it will be like to reach my goal weight
So many things will change
Something bad might happen,
Someone might get hurt
I don’t know who Ill be without this weight,
I’m so used to it, it’s all I know

I’m afraid of what might happen
What if people treat me differently?
What if I make – them- uncomfortable?
Its not safe for -them – if I lose this weight
Everything will change
I just know something bad will happen
It’s really not safe to let go of this weight
I’ve decided to keep my problem
I’ve got really good reasons to keep this weight
I don’t want to let it go
I don’t know who Ill be
I’m not going to let the weight go, it’s like an old friend, its kept me safe for so long
I have SO many good reasons to keep this extra weight.
I’m so used to it, it’s all I know

I honor these fears I have, I honor this part of me
Thank you for keeping me safe all these years
Thank you for wanting the best for me
Thank you for trying to keep things status quo
I release you from your duties, you’ve done a great job, and now I am ready and willing to change
I am learning new ways to keep myself safe
It’s safe to let go of these reasons
I honor this part for doing its best
You’ve had some really good reasons,
But now its time to let those go
I forgive you for holding me back
I’m ready to step into my power
I’m ready to love and accept all of me
I value myself and my true nature
I honor my process
I am peaceful with myself
It feels good to accept all of me
Its safe to be lean and fit
Its safe to feel good about myself
I am allowing my success
I am grateful for all the blessings in my life
It feels good to allow my true nature to shine

Deep Breath

Go back to that image of you looking and feeing your best with the people in a circle around you… Notice what is different? How has it changed? How do you feel now as you stand in this circle? If you still have any anxiety go back and repeat the tapping sequence again.

Thank you for taking the time to do this exercise. If it helped, please share your experience with me in the box below.

Lots of love and happiness,




  1. Debby

    I appreciate you sharing this. I have been hiding behind a belief that ‘No one can reject me if I reject myself.” I can say it’s because I am fat that my husband doesn’t want to be intimate with me, when in fact, it went farther back to when I was actually fit and trim. I created this so I could have a different excuse why he doesn’t want me. I am seeing that it has nothing to do with my weight, whether I am fat or fit. My issue was a nine, and is now a zero! What this will lead to I have no idea. But I give myself permission to be fit and trim. THANK YOU!

  2. Felisa

    Thank you for this gift…I didnt realize my weight goals could be tied to my worries of change in my life…I tapped through the script twice so far…I started as an 8 and ended at a 6 the first time…the second I ended at a 2…I going to go through it a few more times…I feel really good and alot lighter now.
    Thank you again..this was a blessing

  3. Moira

    Not sure yet Brittany. But I had to repeat some of the phrases over and over and keep tapping through them, so I know they mean something to me. If I FEEL and SEE a breakthrough I will definitely let you know. Thanks for all the help you put out there! I really appreciate Sonal and you and others who are trying to help others.

  4. Jose Angel
    Jose Angel09-19-2012

    Hello Britt
    All my love to you and hartfelt thank you for this awesome gift,do you know
    Margaret Lynch look for her in YouTube she is my first teacher on ttaping I
    realy had progress in my wole life,thanks,Angel

  5. Joyce

    Thank you so much, I’ll work on it and let you know how I go!

  6. Denise Trottier
    Denise Trottier09-20-2012

    Thank you soo much, this is quite a wake up call about rejection…I had no idea that these two were related…I’m always puzzled about what to say but now it will be clear and precise…
    Denise Trottier

  7. Vicki Kron
    Vicki Kron09-19-2012

    Thanks so much for this great tapping routine. I feel it’s just what I need to work on, and I was running out of things to say.

    Your videos have already been a big help for me.

  8. Sofi

    a very powerful session i must say, the words are so important – i just feels good, relaxing, safe, comfortabe and healing in a very deep place…everything inside must have a voice, be lissen to, take in to concederation – and after i feel kind of calm! (im not english, som my spelling is comsicomsa..:)

  9. Lillian

    I did not get my basic needs met when I was a toddler and older so it is hard for me to diet and only eat protein and veggies. When I get hungry I want carbs too, but I tend to overeat because I feel if I don’t I may not get the next meal, which I know I will, but at a deeper level, I am not convinced.

  10. Sydney

    I broke through and lost a couple more lbs. the next day after doing this. I was stuck at 153, to 155, had been keeping it at 153-154 lately, but I went to 150 the next morning after doing htis tapping. Thanks for sharing.

  11. Kelly

    I didn’t have a major breakthrough but only tapped the whole sequence once – what I did recognize is that I am afraid to step into my power because my subconscious mind believes it is unsafe and that I might hurt or upset other people, so that is a good start to discovering the real reasons as to why I binge eat. Thanks

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